


wtf? gay little jesters

by official_rat_king_69



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Kirby (Video Games), Super Paper Mario (Game)
Genre: Constructive Criticism Welcome, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other, Slow Burn, crack probably, first fic, hooo boy, i didnt want to write a sphere, i messed up the formatting in the first chapter the others are better i promise, if anyone WANTS to beta read for me...maybe..., just go easy on me pleag, marx is gijinka, or as slow as i can take it im not good at this, self indulgence time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26202652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/official_rat_king_69/pseuds/official_rat_king_69
Summary: dimentio wants his own evil team so he picks up marx and jevil and WHOOPS he catches feels
Relationships: Dimēn | Dimentio & Jevil (Deltarune), Dimēn | Dimentio & Mark | Marx, Dimēn | Dimentio/Jevil (Deltarune), Jevil (Deltarune) & Mark | Marx
Comments: 38
Kudos: 54





	1. meet cute

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo!! this is my first fic so please tell me where you think i could improve but go easy on me im fragile. anyway, they meet

It had been two months now since Dimentio had broken out of the Underwhere, weak and drained of his magic. While he recovered, he found himself bent on one thing and one thing only: revenge. Revenge on that Mario for foiling his plans, on Bleck for betraying him, revenge on the man in green for...well...just by association. But his daring escape had left him quite powerless: it took weeks just to be able to travel dimensions again. He hated to admit but...he had to take a leaf out of his former leader’s book. He needed help.  
His first recruit was a young man from the planet of Popstar by the name of Marx. He was reckless and painfully difficult to control, but strong and decent enough at following orders that got him out and about, claiming to be, in his words, “bored as shit.”  
Dimentio still held total control of Dimension D, so there he fashioned a base, a castle to hide in while he found someone else- to round his team into a nice three. But so far he had been...less than successful. Surprisingly, not many were willing to drop everything to go off with the strange jester seeking revenge on people they’d never heard of.  
So again he was out on the hunt, expanding his reach to all worlds he could find and honing in on one at random.  
Flipping into the world, he was immediately greeted by a spear to the neck. On the other end was an almost snakelike creature, save for the arms and humanoid diamond-shaped head.  
“H-Hey!” It said, “What’s your business in Card Castle? Why would you teleport in? W-we have a front door you know…”  
Dimentio took in the creature’s strange appearance, before carefully moving the spear away from himself. He then responded, “My friend, I am a stranger to this world and I simply left it up to random where exactly I appeared, like a die tossed into the ocean.”  
The diamond-snake withdrew its spear entirely, still looking suspicious. “Th-this world? Are you like...a lightner?”  
“Yes!” Dimentio perked up, having no idea what it was talking about. “A lightner is just what I am. Though, my travel here was not entirely my plan, so perhaps you could...show me around?”  
It seemed to debate this a moment. “Well...King Lancer would probably be okay with it…Sure! W-welcome to Card Castle! If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to the throne room-”  
Dimentio raised a painted eyebrow. “Would it be densely populated? I have this awful shyness you see, like a cheetah cub without its emotional support dog…”  
“Oh...well, most of the guards tend to hang out in there...and the King...and Ralsei...W-well, I’m sure there’s somewhere else we could go!”  
“Oh thank you! So very accommodating.” Dimentio smiled, following along as it listed off rooms and corridors.

Dimentio was beginning to zone out. It wasn’t until they got back on the elevator to return to the first floor did something catch his eye. “Say, my friend, what’s this button?” he asked, pointing to one (poorly) painted over button at the top.  
“O-oh…” His companion stuttered, “W-were not allowed to go d-down there...th-that rules been in place as l-long as I’ve worked here.” Dimentio could see it’s hands shaking.  
“Well!” he said, “No reason to head down there then.”  
“Y-yeah!” It perked up with a hesitant smile.  
They remained in silence for a moment more, before the elevator doors slid themselves open and it led Dimentio outside.  
“W-well...enjoy the rest of the Dark World! I-I’m sure you can find someone to help you out if you get l-lost!”  
Dimentio gave a grateful bow. “Thank you, my friend, for the tour. It was wonderful, like a freshwater creek running through a sunlit wood.”  
“Um..th-thank you?” It responded. “W-well, I-I’ll see you around!”  
“And I you.”  
It shut the door. The moment he knew he was out of eyesight, Dimentio braced himself and teleported back in the elevator and hit the mystery button. Immediately the elevator began to drop down, and down, and down. When the doors opened, Dimentio found himself faced with stairs leading further down.  
“My...what is this, a bunker?” he mumbled to himself, meandering down the steps. At the bottom, he found a prison wall, thick metal bars running up to the ceiling. As he reached the end, something inside took notice and crawled up to him. Yellow eyes peered through the darkness.  
“A visitor, visitor! So many in such short time, time!”  
“Do you often get visitors all the way down here?”  
“Oh no, no, usually no one visits me, me!” It seemed to sink, before rising up again, “But now, lightners, lightners! They come to play, play! It’s now been weeks, weeks, but I know they’ll come again, again!”  
“Hm,” Dimentio mused, skeptical, “Are you sure, my friend?”  
The being faltered before speaking. “Why...Why of course, course. They have the key, key! Why go to all the trouble, trouble, just to leave me alone, alone?”  
Dimentio leaned on the bars, raising a brow. “So you’re all alone?”  
It’s voice pitched up in distress. “Yes, yes! The kings tried to lock me up, up, just for playing a game, game! But they instead locked themselves and everyone else up, leaving me alone outside, outside! It's terribly lonely, lonely! I only want to play, play!” It sunk down again, seemingly sitting. “But...the lighteners have the key, key. Without it...no one can come out, out and I can’t leave, leave.”  
Dimentio smiled, and without thought, teleported into the cage. “Not to worry, my friend, that is a non-issue to me!”  
He could now get a better look at the figure. It was not much taller than him, a jester with goat legs and short horns peeking out from its two-toned hat, and a swishing tail.  
“Amazing, amazing!” It cried out, “Now we can play, play, and you can take me to play with everyone else, else!”  
“A ha ha...well, what kind of game are we playing now?” Dimentio was curious.  
“Oh, a simple numbers game really,” It took one step back, and several card suit symbols appeared above its head. “Your health hits zero, you lose!”  
Dimentio barely had time to jump back before attacks were flying in his direction. He managed to throw himself in the air to dodge, but soon his magic gave out and he hit the ground. “No, no, no!”  
As soon as he landed, a scythe was flying in his direction. It slashed across his chest, creating a stinging wound. It turned into ribbons, and then into the stranger. Still in the air, it gave out a laugh and flung diamond-shaped attacks at him.  
“That’s all you’ve got, got, why, you're a real diamond in the rough!”  
Dimentio managed to form enough of his own star-shaped attacks to counter, before scampering off to try and regroup himself.  
When he looked up again, the stranger was gone. He swung his head around to try and look for it. He figured it out when several hearts buried themselves in his back.  
Dimentio crumpled, huffing in exhaustion. Usually, he would have flown around during a battle, and running was easily winding him. Not to mention he didn’t even have the power to fight back. He curled defensively in on himself. The attacks faded out of existence, and he sighed in relief.  
He could see bright green hooves stepping around him, and a moment later the stranger crouched down and took Dimentio’s chin in its gloved hand to look him in the eyes.  
“You’re not as strong, strong as the lightners,” It seemed disappointed. “What a short game, game!”  
“You..did NOT mention...that your game involved..fighting,” Dimentio huffed out.  
“What a crude, crude way of putting it!” the stranger was lifting him up by his shoulders now. “Did you not have fun, fun?”  
“No,” Dimentio put it plainly, too tired for his usual flowery language. He hung limply in the stranger’s grip.  
It pouted, before suddenly slinging Dimentio over its shoulder. “Well, time for you to bring me in, in!” It hopped excitedly, causing Dimentio’s breath to hitch in pain. “I can’t wait to play, play with everyone again! It’s been so long, long!”  
“H-hold your horses, my aggressive fellow,” he began. “I don’t..have the power to teleport us out of here now. I’ve been juiced like an orange on a hot summer day.”  
The stranger pulled Dimentio back down, looking at him curiously. “What’s an orange, orange?”  
“It...nevermind. Can you please put me down? I feel like a sack of freshly harvested potatoes.”  
The stranger set him roughly on the striped floor. “Whats a potato, potato?”  
“It does not matter,” Dimentio sighed.  
“Oh.” The stranger’s ears drooped  
There was a short pause, in which Dimentio suddenly remembered why he came here in the first place.  
“My friend..while we are stuck here, why not tell me a bit about yourself?”  
The creature smiled and sat down in front of him, seemingly eager. “Of course, course! My name is Jevil! What do you want to know, know?”  
“Jevil, hm? I am Dimentio-” he struck a pose, as well as he could while sitting on the ground, “The greatest magician you’ll ever meet!”  
“The greatest magician? Not likely, likely,” Jevil put a finger to his chin, as if recalling something.  
“Wh-what?” Dimentio sputtered, “I am!”  
“Your performance was lacking, lacking.”  
“I- I’m-” Dimentio tried to cool down. “I’m in a poor spot right now, like a turtle in the middle of the road. Under normal circumstances, I would have ended your life the moment you crossed me, friend.”  
“Uh-huh,” Jevil smiled smugly. “Sure, sure.”  
The two talked idly back and forth for a while, mostly Jevil explaining the Dark World. Strangely, he seemed to avoid questions about himself. Though, Dimentio would have done the same.  
“I think...I may be able to get us out of here now. Not all the way to my home, but out of this cell,” Dimentio said hesitantly.  
Jevil sprung up in excitement. “Oh joy, joy! I can hardly wait, wait!”  
Dimentio stood, holding out his hand, which Jevil quickly took. Snapping his fingers on the other, the two were out of the cage. Dimentio promptly collapsed. Thankfully, Jevil caught him, letting the smaller jester cling to his chest and pant in exhaustion.  
“Perhaps..I should have...waited a bit longer.”  
Jevil shrugged, picking him up. Dimentio stayed silent, stunned. “I’m just happy we’re in, in!”  
“...I’m sure you are, my friend.” Dimentio tried to get comfortable, knowing he wouldn’t be able to walk on his own.  
Jevil grinned down at him in satisfaction before charging up the stairs and skidding into the elevator. “I’m sure we can find something, something to help you anyways!”  
Dimentio recalled a shop on the top floor. He reached out to press the button, and they were off.


	2. chaos chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pounded this out directly after chapter 1. should i wait and post this later so i have a buffer if i hit artblock? yes! am i gonna? no

The elevator slid open and Jevil stepped out onto the first floor of Card Castle. He stopped to marvel. It was exactly as he remembered it, with dark walls and portraits of diamond hung about. Distracted, his grip on Dimentio loosened, causing him to squeak in surprise.

“Sorry, sorry!” Jevil apologized, lifting the smaller man back up.

“Ah, no harm no foul, my distracted comrade,” Dimentio was irritated, but he didn’t want to scare his new ally off so quickly. “But what has got you stopped like a rabbit faced with a fox?”

“It’s just...it’s exactly like it was one-hundred years, years ago! It’s like..I never left, left.”

Dimentio decided to give him a moment to marvel at his surroundings before gently poking him in the stomach. “I think we should get moving.”

“Oh! Right, right..” Jevil took off.

They took off down the hallway and quickly encountered a creature similar to what Dimentio had seen earlier, though it was red and had a visor covering its face. It looked at the pair curiously.

“Who are you, and how’d you get in here?”

Jevil grinned widely. “Uee hee hee!” he gave a peculiar laugh, “A new playmate, so soon, soon from leaving my freedom!”

The creature raised its spear. “You need to tell me who you are or I’ll have to take you to the king.”

“The king, the king! Uee hee, how I can’t wait to see him again!” he gently set Dimentio against a wall. “But first, first!”

The thing never stood a chance. Jevil held his hand out to Dimentio to lift him back up.

Dimentio took it to stand, but resisted being carried. “I think I may be able to walk myself now.”

“Oh, okay!” So the two headed off to the second elevator. Dimentio still held Jevil’s hand in case his legs gave out. “Which floor was it?”

“The top,” Jevil eagerly pressed the button, bouncing on his heels. The doors closed. Dimentio leaned against the wall.

“I didn’t actually see what they were selling...hopefully bandages.”

“I wouldn’t know, know! There was no shop when I served here, here!”

“Served?”

“Oh..well, well, I was- oh!” The elevator opened. “Our stop, stop!”

He pulled Dimentio out and along, to the two doors at the end of the hall. “Which way?”

“Here,” Dimentio led his companion to the left. Jevil opened the door, his tail swishing in excitement. 

Inside, sitting across the counter, was a lanky blue man with shoulder length white hair, and a mouth that appeared to be melting shut. When he laid his eyes on the pair, he stood up in shock. 

“What..whateth art thou doing outsideth thine cell?” 

“Rouxls, Rouxls!” Jevil threw his hands in the air (taking Dimentio’s with him). “It’s been so long, long! You run a shop now?”

Dimentio found himself giggling as the blue man continued: “Silence thineself, wretched thing! I do noteth know how thou escaped thine celle, but you shall be returning as soon as guardse arriveth! GAURDSE!” 

“Friend...you speak like a ninth grader doing a presentation on old english! You sound like a snob presenting to a crowd of dissatisfied teenagers!”

Rouxls turned an indignant shade of indigo while Jevil burst into laughter. “You- insolent worme! Whoest even art thou? C-Clearly a foole to associate with this maniace!”

Before Dimentio could introduce himself, Jevil did it for him. “This is Dimentio! He let me inside, side! So I can play, play! Speaking of playing-” Spades suddenly surrounded the jester. Dimentio took a step back. “Play with me, Rouxls!”

Rouxls squeaked, letting out a shrill “Noest!” before leaping over the counter and charging outside, slamming the door behind himself. The spades disappeared from around Jevil.

“That was...rather anticlimactic.” Dimentio said.

“Yea, yea!” Jevil pouted. “I was looking forward to playing with Rouxls, Rouxls!”

Dimentio gently touched his shoulder. “I’m quite sure we’ll run into him again.”

“Yea..yea!” Jevil perked back up. “We will! Now, let see, see- if I know Rouxls, he’ll have…” Jevil trailed off, climbing behind the counter. Dimentio peeked over to see him pawing through a box. “Ha-ha!” He sprung back up. “Found it!”

Jevil set down a glass jar full of a brown liquid. “Rouxls’s roux!”

“Is it...just roux?”

“Yup, yup!”

“That...sounds appalling, my dear Jevil.”

“Yup! But, it’s very good, good for you!” Jevil nudged the jar closer to Dimentio.

“Ah...I see…” Dimentio slowly pulled the lid off the jar. “Forgive me, but, could you turn around?”

“Huh? Why?”

“I..don’t like it when people watch me eat.”

“Oh! Okay!” Jevil turned himself around. Dimentio did the same, for good measure. Carefully, he lifted up his mask and poured the liquid into the soft putty-like substance that made up his body, letting it absorb in. In a moment, he could feel his wounds begin to close. He turned back around.

“That...was disgusting. But...oddly effective? I feel like a strongly stitched pillow.”

Jevil quickly turned to face him, grinning. “That’s Rouxls! I always told him, Rouxls, Rouxls! Ditch the lawkeeping and become a cook! And he told me I was crazy, crazy!”

“How very inconsiderate of him.”

Jevil nodded in agreement before hopping back over the counter. “Well, now that you’re all patched up..” a row of spades materialized. “I have some chaos, chaos to wreak!”

He grabbed Dimentio’s hand and charged out of the shop, beginning to laugh hysterically. Dimentio was almost impressed.

Dimentio followed Jevil as he moved down through the castle, laying waste to the troops in his wake. He was quite jealous, not being in any condition to fight if he wanted to return home soon.

All went well until they reached the first floor and began to leave the castle, only to be greeted with several spears from the snakelike creatures pointing at their faces. Across from them at the head, was what appeared to be a tall purple plush cat. Behind them was Rouxls, who was holding a crowned child protectively in his arms.

“Jevil,” the cat said in a tired voice, “what are you doing?”

“S-seam!” Jevil took a step back, surprising Dimentio. “Wh-what what are you doing, doing here?”

“Rouxls came to my shop in a panic, saying you’d escaped your cell with the help of another jester, and here you are, causing a ruckus,” they to sighed irritably

Jevil took another step back, forcing Dimentio to smush himself against the door. “What was I supposed to do, do?! Stay, stay alone in my freedom, freedom?!” Dimentio could see him shaking. “Stay there and rot, rot?”

“Jevil, calm down, I-”

“Quiet, quiet!” Jevil’s practically hissed. “I don’t want to hear it, hear it!”

The cat stepped closer and Jevil let loose what was definitely a hiss. Dimentio decided it was time to get out of there. He lightly squeezed Jevil’s hand and willed them home.


	3. initiation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a wild MARX appears

They rematerialized outside the door to Dimentio’s castle. Jevil seemed stunned a moment, before looking around. “Where, where are we?”

“This, my friend, is a dimension of my very own creation- welcome to Dimension D!”

Jevil looks around at the strange green sky, and then at the building in front of him. “You made this whole dimension?”

“Yes! I told you, I am a master magician.”

Jevil looked around for a few more moments, walking around the castle, inspecting, and then returned to Dimentio. “This place looks fun, fun!”

Dimentio gave a pleased smile. “I'm glad you think so. Shall we go in?”

Jevil nodded enthusiastically, so Dimentio opened the door and called: “Marx! I’m back!”

There was silence, and then the increasingly loud sound of clown shoes squeaking down the hall. Marx appeared, his suspenders eskew and his hair flattened, like he had just gotten out of bed. Dimentio grimaced at the thought that he had fallen asleep in his shoes.

“Hey hey hey, you’re back- woah!” He spotted Jevil, stopping. “You found somebody?”

Jevil bounded forward. “Hello, hello! You’re Marx?”

Marx nodded affirmatively. “Thats me! What's your name?”

“Jevil, Jevil!”

“Cool!” Marx grinned, turning his head down to look at Dimentio. “I like this guy.”

Before Dimentio could say anything, Jevil perked up and asked, “Marx! Do you want to play a game, game?”

Marx tilted his head innocently. “A game? All we have is Scrabble…”

Dimentio patted his arm, walking past him. “I will leave you two to it. I need a nap.”

A few hours passed before Dimentio reemerged from his room, now clothed in a blouse and skirt until he could repair his poncho. He wandered toward the kitchen, where he could hear faint chatter. 

Inside, he found Marx and Jevil eating cereal, both looking very busted. Most notably, Marx had a long gash in his cheek that was poorly bandaged over, and one of Jevil’s sleeves was pockmarked with hundreds of small holes, as well as sporting rips at the edge of his cape.

“My my, you two look like tender fruit put through a blender.”

“Dimentio! You didn’t tell me this guy was so fucking cool!” Marx set his spoon in his bowl and wrapped his arm around Jevil’s shoulders. Jevil smiled as if pleased. “He kicked my ass!”

“Marx is fast, fast, and strong, strong! I hadn’t had that much fun since the lightners, lightners left!”

“Good for you.” Dimentio yawned as he spoke, reaching for the cereal box still sitting on the counter. As he poured the milk, Marx asked:

“So...we’ve got three people. What's the plan now?”

“Well,” Dimentio pulled a spoon out of the drawer, “Now I need to figure out how to...best utilize your abilities, to exact my revenge on my pesky plumbers.”

Jevil tilted his head. “Huh?”

“Ah- so sorry my friend, I never got to explain my plan to you, did I?”

“No, no!” Jevil said.

Dimentio sat down on the counter. “Apologies. Well, you see...I was employed to a Count, who seemed as benevolent as a harvestman collecting the abandoned corpses of bees. He had a plan, to destroy all worlds, and in their place, create perfect new ones. However…” He scowled at the memory, “...as it turned out, his true plan was to leave the worlds destroyed, and create a barren universe. When I tried to enact his original plan myself, I was stopped by a pair of moustached plumbers and beaten within an inch of my life, like a purple punching bag!” Dimentio decided to exclude the part where he was sent to the Underwhere for his sins.

“How rude, rude!” Jevil’s tail flicked up and down with irritation. “So you wanna get back at them?”

“Exactly, my friend. The only issue is…” Dimentio looked down at his cereal. “I’m...not entirely sure how. Even fused with the Chaos Heart, an ancient artifact of destruction...I could not defeat them.”

“Popstar has these things called Clockwork Stars, that can grant you a wish!” Marx said, with full mouth, “But...I’m not sure how many are left? We kind of, uh, keep wrecking them.”

“Yes…” Dimentio turned to jam a spoonful of cereal under his mask, thinking. “I’ll just have to figure something out, I suppose.”

“I’d help, help!” 

“Thank you, Jevil.” Dimentio was doubtful Jevil would be any help in the planning department. But there was no point in crushing his spirit so soon.

The conversation died out and the three had their meal in silence. Marx gathered their bowls and took them to the sink to wash. “Me and Jevil were gonna watch a movie to celebrate him joining the team, wanna watch with us?”

“Hmm,” Dimentio considered. He’d already had a nap, so chances were he wouldn’t get to bed until late. And emotional connections were important to keeping a team together, he had learned that much from his ex-teammates attachment to the Count. “Perhaps I will.”

Marx gave a “Woop!” and pumped his damp fists in the air while Jevil flapped his hands up and down.

“I said perhaps! Only if you pick a _good_ movie.”

Marx began explaining his choice, walking Dimentio to the living room. Jevil followed along, still waving his hands around happily.

An hour and a half later, Dimentio found himself curled up on the couch staring at a credit screen slowly fading away. He looked to his companions and said “Well, I suppose it wasn’t bad.”

But when he spoke, Marx hissed a “shhhh!” at him, pointing to where Jevil was sitting on top of him, splayed out, his mouth agape, one arm dangling off the couch, sleeping soundly. He looked quite comfortable. Dimentio gave him a long look and nodded. He was a little surprised with how quickly his minions had bonded. Then again, Marx was a very friendly type. In any case, he waved goodbye, and floated off to his room for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my mind. they watched beetlejuice. i just think they would  
> i feel like each new chapter is shorter than the last im sorry jdhjdgmhkjsfdh. well from here on itll be...like, every chapter happens a few days apart from the last. if that makes sense. so hopefully theyll be mostly longer? we'll just have to see


	4. chillin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dimentio and jevil interior decorate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello- i recently made a height chart/ref for the jesters, which can be found here:  
> https://severalratstiedtogether.tumblr.com/post/628272496415801344/jaster-height-chart

The smell of burning meat reached where Dimentio was reading in his room. Marx must be making breakfast. He set down his book and floated slowly to the kitchen, to find him dancing around the kitchen while bacon and eggs cooked on the stove.

“Dim! You’re up!” He said, stopping. “How do you want your eggs?”

Dimentio yawned. “Hmm. Fried.”

“Cool. Can you go wake Jevil up and ask him what he wants? I think he’s still on the couch.”

Dimentio gave a thumbs up and floated off to the living room where Jevil was, indeed, still asleep on the couch, curled in on himself as if Marx had just folded him over to get up. Dimentio gave him a poke on the shoulder. “Jevil. Wake up.”

Jevil did not wake up, so Dimentio unfolded him and gently bopped his face. “Jevil!”

The jester finally shifted. He yawned, revealing a row of pointy but deteriorated yellow teeth. They still looked like they could take off a finger. Dimentio’s view was cut off when Jevil closed his mouth and sat up, stretching. Finally, he looked at Dimentio and asked “What, what?”

“Marx is making breakfast, he wants to know what kind of eggs you want.”

“Uhn...scrambled.” Jevil stood, stretching again. His tail went straight out. 

“I’ll tell him, then.”

“No no, I’ll tell him, tell him.” Jevil started off to the kitchen. Dimentio shrugged and followed. 

“Hey Jevil! You’re up! You’re a heavy-ass sleeper, you know.”

“I was tired, tired! I hadn’t had this much activity in a hundred years, years!”

“Huh. Uh, well, how did you want your eggs?”

“Scrambled, scrambled!” Jevil sat down, slapping his hands once on the table.

“Gotcha.”

Dimentio took his seat on the other side of the table, so he could face Jevil. “Did you sleep well?”

Jevil nodded. “Yea! The couch is comfy, comfy.”

“Well, I believe you’ll likely be more comfortable on a proper bed. I didn’t want to wake you last night as you were sleeping like a cat in a patch of sunlight, but today we shall make you a room of your own.”

“Oh,” Jevil’s smile faltered ever so slightly. “Just me?”

“Yes...unless Marx would share a room with you- Marx?”

“Huh? Nah, sorry man,” Marx was poking the eggs with a fork. “I need my space!”

“I see...that’s fine, fine!” Jevil smiled again, but Dimentio could see he wasn’t satisfied. Whatever. He wanted his minions happy to an extent so that they’d be less likely to cross him, but sharing a room wasn’t a line he was willing to cross.

“We can get started on that after breakfast.”

“Speakin’ of which!” Marx set a plate in front of Jevil. “Dim, your egg is frying.”

Dim nodded, watching as Jevil dug into his food. 

“Marx, this is great, great!”

“Thanks bud!” Marx finally passed Dimentio his plate, and then sat down with his own. He took a crunchy bite of his overcooked bacon. “Learnt it from my boyfriend.” He said, smiling proudly.

Jevil gasped in excitement while Dimentio was left perplexed. “You have a boyfriend? _You?_ ”

Marx gave him an irritated look. “Yea, I do. Jealous?”

“No- just surprised.” 

“I think he’s jealous, jealous!”

Marx snickered. “Yea- sorry I’m just handsome and smart and sexy and men love me, Dim. We can’t _all_ be me.”

Dimentio glared at Marx. “Well, I _think_ I will be taking my leave, gentlemen,” He took his plate, standing.

“Seeya Dim!” Marx trilled. Jevil frowned slightly, but waved goodbye.

“I will return shortly,” He said, exasperated. Despite the teasing, he felt the need to reassure the imp, for some reason. Strange.

Return shortly he did. Dimentio was never one to eat slowly, and getting Jevil’s room how he wanted it would take a long while. Best to start as quickly as possible. 

“You’re back, back!” Jevil exclaimed as he returned to the kitchen. Marx waved with his wing, which was out in place of his arm.

“Sup man, I was just showing Jevil my wings.” Marx said, a touch of pridefulness in his voice.

“They’re cool, cool!” The light Marx’s wings emitted reflected even in Jevil’s dark eyes.

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourselves, but it’s time for Jevil and I to work on his room.”

Jevil stood up, exclaiming “Great!” while Marx retracted his wing back into an arm.

“Have fun guys.” Marx said as Jevil walked around him.

Jevil skipped off, following Dimentio up the stairs and down a hall to a plain looking room. “Now, as I’ve explained, I created Dimension D myself, and as such I hold total control of it, like an expert player residing over their chess board. As such, I can fashion your room however you’d see fit.”

“However I want, want?”

“Any way you’d like.”

Jevil gave a dramatic hum as if pondering and walked around the room. “Could I get...carpet?”

Without so much as moving, Dimentio willed a soft carpet to sprout up from the ground. Jevil jumped backward as it grew under his hooves, grinning. He gave a few more hops of joy, even once Dimentio was done and the carpet was in place. “Amazing, amazing!” Jevil looked up at Dimentio, his dark eyes shining with excitement. Yellow pinpricks appeared from within the black.

“What next, my friend?”

“Uhh let me think, think!” Jevil paced around once. “Oh! A bed, bed- that's important.”

“What kind of bed?”

“Uhm...maybe something floaty, floaty?” Jevil’s tail twitched at the idea. 

Dimentio willed a floating bed into existence, with circular steps wide enough for Jevil’s hooves leading up to it. Jevil practically scrambled up and flopped onto his new bed.

“It’s comfy, comfy!” He confirmed. Dimentio floated up to face him.

“More comfy than the couch?”

Jevil nodded happily. “Needs pillows though.”

Dimentio gave him some pillows. Jevil wrapped his arms around one. Was...was he _purring?_

“My friend, you...you sound like a generator. Are you purring?”

Jevil stopped abruptly, clamping his hands over his mouth. Muffled, he squeaked “I can’t help it, help it!”

“I-” Dimentio found himself snickering slightly. “It’s simply unexpected.”

Jevil half buried his face in his pillow, staring at Dimentio suspiciously. He sighed.

“Come now, we need to finish your room.” Dimentio tried to coax his minion out.

“...Fine, fine.” Jevil set his pillow aside and hopped back down the steps. “What’s next?”

“Whatever you’d like.”

“Hmm…” Jevil pondered.

Hours passed. Finally, Jevil was happy with his room. Dimentio landed on his bed, which was now absolutely overloaded with pillows and accompanied by a wooden border so none fell. Creating a fully functional and personalized bedroom was a little much even for him, in his drained state.

But, Jevil seemed happy with it. He flitted around, one moment on top of his (currently empty) dresser, the next turning the lamp that sat on his desk on and off. Despite himself, Dimentio smiled softly at the imp’s excitement.

That was, until Jevil leapt up the stepping stones and tackled Dimentio into a hug, purring “Thank you! Thank you!”

Dimentio pulled himself free almost immediately, tumbling away through the air. That was...too much. Too much physical contact. When Jevil gave him a concerned look, he tried to laugh off his nerves.

“A ha ha, I’m, ah, glad you enjoy your room. I will now be taking my leave- ciao!”

Reality bent around him, and Jevil was left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hrng i think this chapter is longer but it might be bc theres so much fuckin dialogue you guys tell me my brain is soup


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not much happens honestly

Sometime another afternoon, Dimentio found himself curled up in the living room with a book. Not a research book like he usually read, a mystery novel. A treat for himself. He began to zone out, engrossed in his little world, until Marx suddenly teleported in and made himself known by shouting:

“Mags found a clockwork star!”

“ _What?_ ”

“You fucking heard me!” Marx flexed his hands in excitement, “I need to go scout it out with him!”

“Alone?” Dimentio gave him a curious look. “Without any backup?”

“Dude,” Marx gave an exasperated look, “I JUST got Kirby and Meta Knight to trust me- I don’t think they’ll just look over me bringing two new friends by, especially considering where we’re going.”

“Ah.” Dimentio hummed. “Well, where shall I be taking you then?”

“Just to the Lor,” He bounced on his heels, glad to be back on track. Dimentio took his hand and visualized the Lor Starcutter, and in a moment they were there. 

“Marx!” A deeper voice called, and the cosmic jester was suddenly pulled away, and into the arms of one Magolor. “You all ready to go?”

“Yup! See you later, Dim!”

“Wait- when will you be back?”

Marx looked at his partner for an answer. Magolor said “Probably in a couple days. We have to be slow and careful, I do not want Meta Knight on my tail.” He chuckled.

“Ah. Safe travels, then.”

“Bye-bye!” 

“Bye, Dimentio.”

Marx then waved him off, and Dimentio relocated himself back to Dimension D. As soon as he got back on the couch however, Jevil poked his head in. “Dim, Dim? Where's Marx?”

“Oh, did he not tell you? He and his boyfriend have found a Clockwork Star- they’ve gone to investigate.”

“Oh, oh!” He hopped the rest of the way in. “When will he be back, back?”

“In a few days, according to Magolor.”

Jevil just made a humming sound and trotted over, laying himself on the couch. “Boo hoo! I was going to ask him to show me a Popstar, Popstar recipe today!”

“You two bake?”

“Yes yes!” Jevil propped himself up, his tail twitching. “He showed me how, how!”

“I had never noticed.”

“We did it while you were sleeping!” Jevil grinned smugly.

“Ah.”

There was a moment of silence as Dimentio got himself comfy, pulling his body away from where Jevil sat, and picked up his book. He thought that he could get back to reading, when Jevil piped up again.

“Do you have anything to do, to do today?”

Dimentio sighed. “Well, I was going to read, have some tea, repair my poncho…”

“AUGH!” Jevil dropped himself dramatically. “That’s so boring, boring, boring!”

“I suppose I needed a boring day, my friend. I have been somewhat overworked looking for our next move…” Dimentio said, somewhat irritated. “Now please, if I could request some silence.”

Silence was granted. Until Jevil climbed up onto Dimentio’s lap and tried to look at his book. “So whatcha reading, reading?”

“Jevil!” Dimentio shoved him off. “ _Please_ respect my personal space!”

“But Dim I’m bored!” He whined, drooping off the couch and onto the floor. 

“Then find something to occupy yourself. I am trying to read, and you are acting like a child whose favorite toy has been thrown in a paper shredder.”

Jevil shot Dimentio a glare from his spot on the floor and slunked off towards the kitchen.

There was quiet for about an hour, during which Dimentio read silently, quite cozy. He just began a new chapter in his novel when there was a scream from the kitchen. 

“DIMENTIO! HELP, HELP!”

Dimentio sprung up and flung himself into the kitchen. “What? Where?”

Jevil was standing in front of a bowl of ingredients, looking bashful. “I already put everything in the bowl, bowl, but we don’t have any eggs!”

“You...what?”

“I didn’t check if we had eggs, eggs!”

Dimentio set himself on the floor and put his hands on his hips. “You called me in here as if you were being slaughtered by a three headed beast, to tell me you need eggs?”

“Yes, yes!”

Dimentio sighed deeply. “And what, pray tell, do you want me to do about it?”

“Maybe you could, could...take me to get some?” Jevil looked up, his dark eyes shining under the kitchen light. Was he tearing up?

Dimentio thought on this a moment. “And if I take you to purchase eggs, will you leave me be for the rest of the day?”

Jevil perked up. “Yes, yes!”

“Then fine.” He said. Jevil perked up and hopped over.

“Thank you, thank you!” Dimentio took Jevil’s hand and, pondering for a moment a safe place to go, warped them away.

They reappeared in a marketplace, bustling with movement. Dimentio gripped tighter on Jevil’s hand as the imp sprung into action, trotting off.

“Wh- Jevil where are we going?”

“I don’t know, know!”

“You don’t know! We came for eggs!”

“But this is so exciting, exciting!” Jevil stopped, turning back to Dimentio. “I’ve been stuck in that stuffy, stuffy castle for days, days! I need to stretch my legs, legs, Dim!”

Dimentio looked at him in exasperation. He wasn’t going to be able to drag Jevil back to Dimension D until he got the energy out. “...fine. Lead the way, my friend.”

Jevil let out a whoop and started back up, walking a few feet before pushing his way to a booth lined on the front counter with glasses and holding several barrels at the back. The merchant, a large woman with green skin and detached hands, looked up and smiled. 

“Howdy! What can I get you fine gentlemen?”

“Ah...what are you selling?”

“Drinks! You want it, I got it!” She motioned to the barrels at the back. “5 coins a cup!”

“Oh, oh!” Jevil turned to Dimentio and whispered. “I don’t have any coins, coins!”

“Ah. Unfortunate for you.”

“Dim!” Jevil whined.

“Uh...is there an issue, boys?”

Dimentio rolled his eyes and Jevil drooped. But the sight...upset him. Something in him twisted. He let out a breath and turned back to the merchant, pulling five coins out of his pocket. “Whatever you want.”

Jevil jumped up again. “Oh! Lemonade, lemonade!”

The merchant grabbed one of her glasses and took it to the back, filling it with lemonade and returning to hand it to Jevil. “Here you are, sugar.” She put the coin in a pouch as Jevil gulped down his drink.

“You two come again!” She waved them off. Jevil waved back and started dragging Dimentio along again.

“May we locate your eggs now?”

“No, no!” The imp cried. “We’re just getting started!”

“Jevil, we came for _one thing._ ”

Jevil stopped, pouting. “Boo hoo! You’re no fun, fun!”

The little part of him that made Dimentio get Jevil a drink spoke up again, urging him to indulge the imp. Dimentio debated with himself for a minute, before admitting defeat. “Fine. We can explore, my most tenacious friend.”

Jevil whooped and began tugging Dimentio along to Grambi knowns where.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hrrng sorry this took a hot second its getting harder to write what with school and plague depression, but im trying my best


	6. wadda heck?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mostly setup

Jevil continued to drag an increasingly tired Dimentio from stall to stall, even now as the sun began to set and the place began to clear out. His arms were full of bags of exotic fruit and his eyes were peeled for more to add to his hoard.

However, out of the corner of his eye Dimentio spotted a salesperson standing behind a sign that read “farm fresh eggs.” So he dug his heels into the dirt and hissed, “Jevil!”

“Huh, huh?” Jevil asked, stopping.

“There are your eggs, my friend.”

Jevil visibly perked up. “Oh, oh! Good!” He began walking over, Dimentio in tow.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” greeted the person behind the stall. “What interests you?”

“Eggs, eggs!” Jevil chirped.

“Ah, just your luck- I have one box left.” They reached down below and pulled out a wood box, cushioned with hay and filled with eggs. “Twenty coins.”

Jevil looked eagerly at Dimentio as the shorter jester pulled out his coin pouch for the hundredth time that day and slid the stall keeper twenty coins. “Pleasure doing business with you!”

Dimentio took the box, not trusting Jevil’s full hands with it, and began walking away. When they were out of earshot, he asked: “Now can we please go back?”

Jevil whined, but Dimentio pressed on, “It’s getting late, they’ll be closing up soon anyway. And I doubt you can carry anything else.”

Defeated by logic, Jevil let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine, fine! Back we go!”

Dimentio smiled in relief and quickly warped the pair back to their kitchen. “I worry your batter has gone bad by now.”

“No, no! There’s nothing that can go bad in it yet, yet!” Jevil responded cheerily, dumping his bags on the counter and taking a bite out of a yellow, heart shaped fruit.

“Joy,” Dimentio replied. He should have been irritated that his annoying minion had gotten his way all day, but a little voice in his head scolded him. Why shouldn’t Jevil have a nice day?

Altogether quite frustrated with these conflicting emotions, Dimentio warped away to his room without another word, leaving Jevil alone and disappointed.

Hours later, Jevil ate a slice of chocolate cake by himself. Dimentio tried to read, but couldn’t make any headway. Each’s head was too full with thoughts of the other.

“I’m back!” came a call through the house. Dimentio had gotten a call from him earlier that he had returned, and now Marx was back at the trio’s shared home, warped by Dimentio.

Jevil tore down the stairs and practically leapt into Marx’s embrace, causing the taller jester to stumble back. “I missed, missed you!” Jevil cried.

The sight warmed Dimentio’s heart. The feeling upset him. He floated away from the scene. 

“Marx, as soon as you’ve completed your pleasantries, I would ask that you meet me in the kitchen to discuss the Clockwork Star.”

Dimentio floated directly to the coffee maker and poured himself a drink. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the last few nights.

A short while later, Marx finally arrived, Jevil clinging to his arm. Jevil pulled his chair to be directly next to Marx’s. “Okay, so,” the cosmic jester began, “we were able to figure out where the star powers for this Clockwork Star are.” He was bouncing in anticipation.

“Really?” Dimentio asked, surprised at how well this was going. “All of them?”

“Probably!” Marx started to flap his hands in excitement, as if they were in wing form. Jevil leaned away respectfully.

“How many are there?”

“Five!”

“Perfect!” Dimentio said. He stood on the table. “Marx and I can split four of them, and Jevil can take the fifth.”

“Uee Hee! Righty-o!” Jevil grinned in excitement.

“Now, what exactly do we need for this?”

“Uhm,” Marx put a finger to his chin, “Some supplies would be good, just food? And our phones of course. In case something goes wrong.”

“Let's hope that doesn’t happen.”

“Road trip, road trip!” Jevil cheered.


End file.
